Bondage for Beginners: Everything You Need to Know
Are you looking to give your sex life a boost?
If you want your sex life to go to the next step, you might feel that bondage is the direction to go. Many find the idea of giving up total control thrilling. A Belgian study with over a thousand participants found that 69% of them had a BDSM fantasy.
Want to try BDSM with your partner? There are some things you need to know before trying BDSM. Otherwise, you might end up having a bad experience with your partner.
With this guide, you’ll learn bondage for beginners. That way, you make the most out of your time enjoying in the bedroom. Read on and find out more.
1. Do Your Research First
When getting into bondage, know that you need not rush into anything. First, educate yourself to learn the things out there. This lets you know what interests you and your partner.
The most important information is the means of engaging in this type of play. Easing into it at a gradual pace is a great way to settle in. If you want to know more about this lifestyle, you can check out social media websites like FetLife.
Talking to people with more expertise in this kind of play is a good way to learn more about it. If you browse these social media networks dedicated to kinksters, you will meet them. You may even discover meetups and other social events within your locale.
Another method is to use books, attend workshops, or even get a BDSM mentor. A mentor can show you the ropes in multiple senses of the word. That way, you can buy toys and learn the safe way to use them.
Take note, BDSM can get intense. You can check out these exercises to help improve your sex performance.
2. Communication Is Important
For most people, talking about erotic topics can be awkward. At worst, it’s unsettling and might feel outright shameful. Before engaging in any form of BDSM, you need to have an honest conversation and verify consent.
You must first become comfortable talking about BDSM before you do it. It’s crucial to have open communication with any BDSM partner. Here are some things you can discuss:
- Boundaries
- Consent
- Desires
- Fantasies
- Fun fears
- Inexperience
- Real fears
Do you have problems talking to your partner about these topics? If so, you’re unlikely to be ready for bondage. This is a deal breaker since it won’t allow you to ask for, give, or offer your consent.
3. Consent Is Everything
It isn’t bondage if you have no consent from your partner. It counts as sexual assault, and it’s part of the 37% of total violent crimes experienced by Americans each year. When this happens, it can devolve into abuse, and you might end up getting hurt or hurting your partner.
This means you must have a clear, honest conversation about consent before you do any play. Ask about your partner’s limits and scenarios they don’t want to happen. If they did this before, ask the things they liked about it and their great and bad experiences.
To get proper consent, put your selfishness aside and talk with your partner. Find out the activities you’re interested in exploring. That way, you’ll also find out those that you want to stay away from.
After that, you can negotiate the finer points of those fantasies. This allows you to discover a list of consensual things you can do together. If you want to try out BDSM toys, discuss it with your partner when both of you can give the right consent.
Always remember that bondage is all about setting the boundaries for yourself. Your partner must respect them as you respect theirs. This is contrary to the popular belief that pushing boundaries is part of the process.
4. Check-in With Yourself and Partner Often
When you try something new, it may take a while before discovering that you’re not into it. It’s normal, especially when you’re expanding your sexual repertoire. However, you must talk to your partner about it and encourage them to do it as well.
It’s always OK not to like something, especially when it’s sexual. Even when you’re in the middle of trying something, talk when you’re not okay with it. It matters not that you gave your consent before starting.
Remember that sex is a two-way pleasure street. Even in rough BDSM plays, both parties must enjoy the play. Check-in with your partner often, especially if you’re new to BDSM.
5. Start Small and Work Your Way Up
It’s always fine to have reservations instead of diving headfirst into BDSM. Always start with BDSM for beginners and work your way up. The most important part of the experience is getting more comfortable.
For example, if you like a particular vanilla sex act, you can add a kinkier twist to it. This includes something like hair pulling or spanking. After that, you can add more sexual behaviors that you find pleasurable.
In some cases, you’ll feel confused and disappointed if you start with too many things at once. It’s especially when you have no experience with sex toys. It might ruin the mood if you feel stuck, figuring out how certain dildos work.
6. Practice Aftercare
Aftercare is the physical and emotional comfort you exchange with your partner. This includes simple acts like offering water, snacks, or kind assurances. Think about the post-play interaction you want and roll with it.
You may also use this time to debrief about your sexual experience.
Learn Bondage for Beginners Today!
Want to learn bondage for beginners? Here’s our guide for first-time BDSM players. From communication to aftercare, here are some essential things to know before you try BDSM.
Ready to take that next daring step with your partner? Contact us today and find all the sex toys and accessories you need!